Random Search Terms, Volume 8.0 9 June 2008

Well, it’s been a while since I posted one of these, so here are a few to tide you over while I work on coming up with snarky commentary for the rest of the search terms I’ve been collecting…

• random funny stuff - you came to the right place!
• copper colored vests - whatever you do, don’t pair this with a lime-green tie!
• recent cow stories - unfortunately, most of my cow stories aren’t all that recent seeing as I no longer live on a farm…
• straw popping - if you plan on trying this, I suggest you avoid McDonald’s
• fun stuff to do on a boring Saturday night - you can read my blog, that should entertain you for at least a few minutes…
• painted red toenails ,next we shaved his - I’m not sure I want to know what was shaved…
• fun dates in ma - I’ve never been to Massachusetts, but if I ever go on a date there, I’ll be sure to blog about it…
• one dollarbill back - can you not get one out of your wallet to look?

??? 4 June 2008

So…  I saw on TV last night an advertisement for our local Cinco de Mayo festival, that is to be held on June 8th…  The first three times I read it, I was convinced that my mind was playing tricks on me, but the fourth time through, I realized that it was so very real…  I’m still scratching my head as it makes absolutely NO sense to me, but c’est la vie.  At least it gave me a chuckle. 

A Fun “contest”… 2 June 2008

Because I feel like all I’ve been posting lately is sad and depressing news, I’ve decided to do something fun…

The sign below is on Colorado Highway 24 between Colorado Springs and Limon.

To enter the contest, post a caption (or several) for the sign.  I’ll read through all of your comments and declare a winner on June 18, 2008.  (Which happens to be my baby sister’s birthday, so if you’re anywhere near Springfield, MO on or around then, consider yourself warned).  The prize for the best caption will be determined at a later date, but I promise it’ll be something good…  I’m thinking a batch of ”world’s greatest cookies.”  What are these, you ask?  Well…  You’ll just have to wait and see, but I *promise* they’re delish! 

Without further ado…  The photo I know you’ll come up with tons of funny captions for 

 

Thanks… 2 June 2008

Thanks to everyone who commented, emailed, called, sent cards, and especially prayed for my family this past week.  I really appreciate it.  I was able to take off work last week and attend the funeral in KS, which helped a lot - especially being around family.  As an added bonus, I was able to stay the night with one of my cousins on the other side of the family who I’ve not seen in four years, and got to meet her husband and little girl for the first time.  Her husband was in the ARMY and was deployed the last few times I saw her, and she was pregnant with her daughter the last I saw her. 

It’s still hard to believe that they’re gone, and I know it will feel that way for quite a while.  Please continue to pray for the Whitlow and Hollingsworth families at this time.  There is a memorial service in Pueblo this Friday.

It’s still not real… 26 May 2008

I know, I’ve not posted in a while…  I’ll explain later on…  Right now I want to ask you to please pray for the Whitlow and Hollingsworth families. 

My cousin Gary and his wife Kim were tragically killed by a tornado late this past Friday night on their way to visit Gary’s family for the holiday weekend, and to meet their new baby nephew. News stories here, here, here, and here.   I still can’t believe it’s true.  I don’t *want* to believe it’s true.  Honestly, I’ve waited so long to even post anything b/c actually writing all this out makes it more real than I want it to be.

Gary and I weren’t close when we were growing up - he’s a boy, he’s four years older than I, and I only saw him once or twice a year - but after I moved here to CO, we started seeing each other more often.  Then Gary and Kim started dating, and later married, and we saw each other even more because Kim and I quickly became friends.  Over the past four years I’ve spent more time with and have become closer to them than I am with some of my cousins who I saw nearly every day when we were growing up.  Funny how that happens, sometimes, isn’t it?

The following is a slightly modified verstion of a poem I wrote a few years ago when a friend from college died tragically and unexpectedly.  The same thoughts have been swirling through my head these past few days… 

When I first heard the awful news:
G and K had passed away
I didn’t know just what to think,
or even what to say.

And as I lay here, trying to sleep,
I just keep asking, “why?”
Why did this have to happen?
Why did they have to die?

Why did God have to take our friends?
They were so very young.
It seemed, to us, as though their lives
Had only just begun.

But Our Lord has a master plan,
And works in His own time.
And although I would like it to be,
It’s not the same as mine.

We find comfort knowing that
Strong, Christian lives they led.
Because of this, as we all know,
The best still lies ahead.

Some Nerdy Fun… 19 March 2008

So… I found this on Chelf’s blog…   I did pretty well, but I think I could have done better if I were typing actual sentences instead of typing random words strung together in no particular order.  That made it a lot harder to read ahead b/c it didn’t make much sense and was therefore harder to remember.   I’m sure that laying down on the couch with my laptop propped up against my legs probably didn’t help my score, either.  Maybe I’ll give it a shot at work tomorrow when I’m using proper typing posture…

 Camille has been trying to convince me to learn DVORAK…  This would definitely be a useful tool if I ever decide to give it a shot. 

DRAT - it’s not showing the pretty graphic it’s supposed to… But anyway, 

I type 93 words per minute.

Speedtest

A prayer request… 14 March 2008

I want to apologize for not finishing up my series…  Some stuff - good and bad - has been going on at work and I haven’t had the time/gumption.  I’ll try to get finished up by the end of the weekend, but I’m not making any promises.  I’m absolutely NOT in a storytelling mood…

I don’t really want to say much else about it at the moment…  Please just pray that I’ll have peace about the whole situation and for me to trust God to work everything out in His time.  Thanks.

The Truth Revealed, Part V… 13 March 2008

Another day, another reveal… In case you’re just joining this program…  A couple weeks ago I posted seven items, three were true, four were lies, and challenged my readers to guess which was which.  This week, I’ve been posting one answer/story for five days (Sun - today) and will post the final two answers/stories on tomorrow. You can find the original post here, I’ve also included links to Parts I, II, III, & IV…

5. A friend and I once drove around the “ghetto” of Montgomery, AL, on a Saturday night in a purple PT cruiser with lavender and fuchsia flames painted on the side.

Status:  TRUE

In August 3, 2002, my friend Leigh Ann got married, and I was in the wedding.  LeighAnn had picked me up at the airport in Montgomery on the Wednesday before the wedding, but she, of course, wasn’t able to take me back to the airport.  Instead, that job fell to our friend Mark who had flown in from Tennessee for the shindig. 

Mark was supposed to have arrived on Friday night, but his first flight was delayed due to some bad weather, so he missed his connecting flight which, of course, was the last flight to Montgomery for the evening.  The airline was able to get Mark on the first flight out on Saturday morning, but when he arrived in Montgomery, the car rental agency had no record of his reservation AND no available cars.  Nice, eh?  Well, Mark went to a couple other rental counters and finally found an available car.  But this wasn’t just a normal ‘ol rental car…  No siree…  This was a metallic purple PT Cruiser (remember - this was in 2002 just after they came out) with lavender and fuchsia flames stenciled on the sides.  Check out the pictures below…

The PT Cruiser - I wish I’d been able to get a better shot of the flames painted on the sides, but you get the general idea…

Mark with the PT Cruiser

Me with the PT Cruiser - notice I’m holding the keys in my right hand…

So…  Now that I’ve explained how we wound up in such an ostentatious car, you’re probably wondering what we were doing driving around the ghetto of Montgomery, AL, late on a Saturday night…

Well…  Mark and I had pre-arranged our flights so that they left within something like 45 min of each other on Sunday afternoon.  We had initially planned to stay in Opp (Leigh Ann’s hometown) on Saturday night and then head back to Montgomery on Sunday morning, but Mark decided that he’d rather go to Montgomery on Saturday night so we’d already be in town for our flights, and so we’d be able to attend worship services on Sunday morning.  We stuck around after the wedding helping wrap up loose ends, then had to change clothes, pack up (well, I had to pack - Mark had never had a chance to unpack), and say our goodbyes…  It was probably 9pm before we even got on the road, and it was a two-ish hour drive back to Montgomery. 

 Having not seen each other in close to two years, Mark and I had plenty of catching up to do, and the two hour drive back to Montgomery passed quickly.  So quickly, in fact, that when we reached town and the road that we were supposed to take to get to the part of town we were planning to stay in, we didn’t realize that we were there until it was too late to turn.  So, we had to continue on the road we were already on until we found a place to turn around.  And, well, it turned out that the part of town we were in had seen its better days.  Luckily, we found a gas station to turn around in pretty quickly so we didn’t drive very deep into the ghetto.

However, the gas station where we turned around just happened to be the local, Saturday night hang-out for folks who liked to show off their “pimped rides.”  You know what I mean…  Fancy paint jobs, gold rims, names stenciled on the windows, low Low LOW riders…  Yeah…  *those* kinds of cars.  And here we were two “preppy” white folk, from out of town, semi-lost, driving through the gas station parking lot in a metallic purple PT Cruiser with lavender and fuchsia flames stenciled on the sides.  You should’ve seen the looks we were getting…  I just had to laugh at the absurdity of it all - it makes me laugh, even now, to think about it… 

Mark, ever the attentive driver, was focused on getting us back to where we needed to be and was oblivious to the looks we were getting.  So when I started laughing, he was confused and asked what was so funny, so I had to explain…

“Think about it, Mark…  You’re a white boy…  We’re in the *ghetto* of Montgomery, AL…  And we’re driving past all these souped up, pimped out rides in a *metallic purple* PT Cruiser with *lavender and fuchsia flames* stenciled on the sides…  You should see the looks we’re getting…”

As I finished my explanation you could see the light bulb turn on in Mark’s head as he realized the absurdity of the situation and joined in my laughter…  FUN times!  

Congratulations to Stephanie, Boone, David, and Megan for correctly predicting that item five was true. 

The Truth Revealed, Part IV… 12 March 2008

Fourth in this week’s “fact or fiction” series… I am posting one answer/story for five days (Sun - Thurs) and will post the final two answers/stories on Friday. One whole week of blogging from me - don’t you feel special? You can find the original post here, I’ve also included links to Part I and Part II, and Part III…

4. While driving through Kansas late one night (I know I have a lot of “late one night” stories, but I’m a night owl, what do you expect?), I happened through a speed trap operated by the county sheriff’s department, was stopped for absolutely no reason, and received a ticket for “failure to monitor.”

Status: FALSE

Though almost true…  One night about 9pm, I was driving through Kansas on I-70, somewhere between Salina and Topeka, on my way home to Missouri to visit the family.  As I was driving, I noticed red and blue flashing lights ahead, and slowed down to the speed limit (I had been going eight over).  As I passed the first officer who had someone stopped, I signaled and pulled into the left lane.  I remained in the left lane as I passed a second, third, and then fourth police cruiser…  All with lights flashing…  All with someone stopped…

 ”Self,” I said, “the local sheriff’s deputies seem to be awfully bored tonight, you’d better be on your best behavior…”

A few moments later, I noticed red and blue flashing lights in my rear-view mirror.  I signaled, slowed, and pulled to the shoulder of the interstate.  While waiting for the officer to approach, I readied my license, proof of insurance, and registration.  A couple minutes after I was stopped, the officer approached my car, and asked me the usual questions…  How I was doing, where I was headed, etc.  Then he took the paraphernalia I had gathered, and went back to do his ”thing.” 

I knew I hadn’t done anything wrong, because I had been on my best driving behavior once I realized I was passing through a routine traffic stop area, but getting stopped is always a bit nerve wracking.  Especially the waiting… 

 After what seemed like a good ten minutes, though it was probably closer to two, the officer returned holding the dreaded slip of paper…  “I’m going to let you go with a warning (note: not a ticket), he said.”  Even though he never told me why I’d been stopped in the first place…  I thanked him, playing Ms. Polite Driver, and began to ready myself to pull back onto the interstate from the shoulder.  The officer was ready before I was and pulled back onto the highway just in time to stop the next car that passed him (I promise - he didn’t even get up to the speed limit before he stopped that car). 

When I finally got to MO, I told the family about how I was stopped in KS for no reason, and we had a good laugh about it.  They asked what I had been warned for, and I said I didn’t know b/c I wasn’t told…  So, we pulled out the dreaded slip of paper, and noticed that in the comments section the officer had written “failure to monitor.” 

Monitor what?  Your guess is as good as mine… 

Congratulations to Boone, David, and Megan for correctly identifying item four as false.

The Truth Revealed, Part III… 11 March 2008

Third in this week’s “fact or fiction” series…  I am posting one answer/story for five days (Sun - Thurs) and will post the final two answers/stories on Friday.  One whole week of blogging from me - don’t you feel special?  You can find the original post here, I’ve also included links to Part I and Part II…

3. I tried out for American Idol, and made it through the first couple rounds, but wasn’t good (or bad) enough to audition for Randy, Paula, and Simon.

Status:  FALSE

 Unfortunately, I don’t have a really good story to go with this one.  I posted it because most folks know I sing pretty well, and was even blessed with the opportunity to participate in a couple of international chorus tours while in college.  I figured that I might be able to trick a few folks into picking this fiction as truth based on their knowledge of my singing abilities…  Of course, that’s what I was trying to do with all seven of my scenarios, and I did so quite well, if I do say so myself, since no one correctly classified all seven items.

Of course, y’all know that I wouldn’t post something that I didn’t have at least a a little something to share about, so here is my AI non-audition anecdote…

My youngest sister is 15, and back when Idol first came out, she was a HUGE fan.  She wanted to audition for the show, but she was obviously too young.  Approximately four or five years ago, just after the maximum age limit for Idol hopefuls was raised from 23 (or whatever it was) to 29, my sis and I had a conversation similar to the following…  NOTE: Sis would have been 10-11 at the time

Sis:  They raised the audition age limit, I think you should audition for American Idol.

Me: It’s really not my thing, plus I don’t think I’m good enough to audition

Sis:  Sure you are…  You’re better than pretty much everyone on there.

Me: no comment, just a very skeptical expression

Sis:  If you audition, you’d definitely make to Hollywood, and you’d probably make the top ten, but you wouldn’t win…

Siblings…  Gotta love ‘em… 

Congratulations to Char, Stephanie, David, Camille, Megan, and Laura (six of my eight voters) for correctly guessing item three was untrue.  :-D