Fortune favors the bold… in bed 23 April 2007

So…  tonight I went out to dinner with several ladies from church.  We ate at P.F. Chang’s, a Chinese bistro.  One of my favorite parts about going to Chinese restaurants is the fortune cookies.  Most fortunes in fortune cookies are lame, so it’s been a longstanding tradition amongst my friends and I (and, yes, I am quite aware that we’re not the only ones to do this) to make the fortunes more interesting by adding the words “in bed” to the end of the fortune.  Below is a sampling of the evening’s fortunes for your enjoyment. 

• Your income will increase…  in bed.
• This is a prosperous time in life for you…  in bed.
• Treat yourself to something of quality…  in bed.
• Socially, you will be involved with an enjoyable event… in bed.
• Your golden opportunity is coming very soon…  in bed.
• You will be singled out for promotion… in bed.

and my favorite…

• You will be recognized and honored as a community leader…  in bed.

Random Search Terms, volume 4.0 18 April 2007

I’ve been crazy busy and haven’t really had time to actually write a post…  I figured I needed to post something, though, so here is the latest set of random search terms.  

One odd thing to note…  I’ve not received a single search for how to address two married doctors since I posted my last edition of random search terms…  I guess folks have finally realized that I’m not an etiquette expert…

• gary larsen chem lab
• laughinglaura.wordpress.com – um, if you knew the address, why did you search?
• funny math problems answers verizon check
• http://almostboring.com
• “ten test tube” answers
• “learn to speak more slowly”
• boring 20 dollars experiment
• “the far side” scientists acid
• far side science test
• never boring
• funny chemistry experiment

Funniest thing I’ve read in ages… 5 April 2007

Dilbert is one of my favorite comic strips, and I subscribe to Scott Adams’ newsletter that he publishes on occasion (yes, I know, I’m a nerd).  One of the highlights of the newsletter is the section titled “True Tales of Induhviduals.”  This section is a compilation of stories submitted by readers, which recount tales of folks who mostly likely rode the short bus to school back in the day…  This is my favorite from today’s newsletter.  When I read it, I laughed so hard I almost cried.  Enjoy!

 My wife and her friend were talking about eating, my wife joked that her friend has several stomachs, like a cow. She responded with “Yes, my udders.”

To which my wife said, “Udders are separate from stomachs.”

“Well it’s all attached”, says she.

My wife says, “Umm, no, like humans, cows eat, it goes through their stomach, they digest, and it comes out the other end.”

At which she confidently replied “Right. And milk is a cow’s pee.”

My wife cried.